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It Will Be Well

I have a hard time writing about Herne. I think it's because I often try to explain him, or at least the history of my relationship with him. And that's just too big a job, and maybe not one even suited for the kind of stories I know how to tell.

So I'll just say this, with no explanation. And maybe, incomplete as it is, it will stand better than something more reasoned would do...

When the time comes for me to die, I hope that they will take me outdoors. I hope that it will be one of those unseasonably warm days in early October, when the sky is a clean, bald blue, and the maple trees are in flames and the oak trees have begun to smolder.

And I hope that someone will lay me down in a big field, with trees all around and the sun in the sky overhead, so I can feel the heat and the life of it in my body all day long. And then, at twilight, I would like to be moved to the edge of the woods. Let someone kindle up a big bonfire, and let me see the flames lighting up the undersides of the leaves, making them glow like stained glass out of the gloom of shadows. And then they should leave me, walk away and leave me there to wait in the fire and in the dark.

Photo credit: Petritap
And I will hear a sound, of hooves and creaking leather, and jingling tack. I will smell woodsmoke, but also sweat, and horses, and leather, and underneath it all, something cool and foreign, like the smell of rock dust or the earth beneath a stone.

And he'll have come for me, warm and alive and dark and strong. And he'll bend down, and pull me up before him, and we will go away together forever.

But in that moment before he takes me in his arms and wraps me in his cloak, I will be able to do what I never have been able to do in all my life till now: I will look into his face, fully into his face, and I will see his eyes.

Then let me die. It will be well.

So mote it be.


Magaly Guerrero said…
What a beautiful image! I think that there is another reason why your relationship is so hard to explain. A clear explanation as of what is going to happen would give the 'experience' a finality that it doesn't possess. Maybe it won't happen until you "look into his face, fully into his face, and I will see his eyes." Until you know he has you and it is safe to let go of everything... of the need to reason...

Great imagery!
C said…
Herne, Horn-ed one
Hunter 'neath the northern Sun
Watcher at the Gates of Winter
Flame on the Wind
Yewtree said…
Beautiful post, and it does say it really really well, perhaps better than a longer explanation could have done.
Peg A said…
Stunning, Cat. You should turn this into a prose-poem and get it published somewhere (Goblin Fruit maybe?)
Terri in Joburg
sta┼Ťa said…
Blessed be.
Anonymous said…
Light and life till that day Cat. It is a true blessing to know who will be there at the end.

my heart is full and my eyes shining

thank you for that
Anonymous said…
It will be well, indeed, my friend! Well put. I started a working with my group on Herne with the statement "My Gods are Gods without words" as an expression of the challenge of getting to know deities that don't say much, if at all. Rather, our understanding of them is informed by our experiences of them that may be emotional, visual, or physical than linguistic. I've done some more workings with Herne for my local community, too. You have a great way of conveying His impact on you and your impressions of it, Cat. I'm honored that you shared this, and glad that I happened to check your blog here...guess I don't really wonder what led me here today! :) Let me know if I didn't send you that Herne chant, by the way.

Smiles, hugs, songs, and blessings,

To all,
Thank you for your responses.

To the other sons and daughters of Herne: may we know him more deeply, and grow deeper in kind.

Blessed Be,
(Who found an oak leaf on the sidewalk today, where no oaks grew.)
Anonymous said…
Very powerful--and so beautiful. Sounds like a wonderful way to cross over.
Carol Maltby said…
Cat, do you know the song "When I Go" by Dave Carter and Tracy Grammer?
Thank you! It's wonderful.

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