Welcome to the online journal of a pair of Quaker Pagans.
I've been reading your blog for a while now and I can't tell you how much it has rejuventated me. This post about seeing the fire of the Spirit touched a chord with me, so I wanted to share a recent experience. Yesterday I was taking out the trash, and I had had a particularly difficult discussion with my mom. She had been very abusive to me as a child, and has been a source of a lot of heartache. This conversation was no different. I went to take the trash out, and I had one of those moments of clarity. It's hard to describe, and may sound completely stupid, but it just felt true, so I'll do my best to describe it and do it justice. I was taking the trash out, and it was heavy, so I could feel my muscles straining. The wind was whipping around me, the clouds were dark and ominous, and halfway down to the apartment's dumpster, it started to rain. You see, I've always loved rainstorms. I used to sit out in rainstorms and get soaking wet, but it was something that gave me joy. The power! The strength! It made me feel connected to myself in a way I still don't understand. And I glimpsed for a moment that fire of the Spirit you talked about in your post. I also felt touched by a spirit mother of some kind. I've felt connected to her in the wind, in the earth, and especially in the moon, and I got the sense that she was telling me that SHE was where I had gotten my strength from for all these years. The wind was whipping around me, and the rain was coming down, and I felt it, the earth/spirit mother/fire of Spirit saying to me "you belong here, you are one of us, you have always been one of us". It's difficult to describe and maybe that is okay. But thank you for sharing your spiritual journey in this blog. It helps me find meaning and language for my own.
Not sure what to put here.
I am touched beyond measure by what you have written here, Rose! I love those moments of clarity. Now your moment in the storm is going to stay with me, holding at least an echo of what that moment had for you. Thank you so much for sharing it here.
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