(Note: there were so many thought provoking comments in response to this post that it generated a second-round of ideas. You can read the follow-up post here .) I have a confession to make. I want to be famous. Well, sort of. I don't want to be famous, famous, and ride around in a limousine and have to hire security and that sort of thing. I just want to write a book, have it published by somebody other than my mother, and bought and read by somebody other than my mother, and maybe even sign a couple of autographs along the way. Mom can have one autographed, too, if she wants. It has to be a spiritual book. A really moving and truthful book, that makes people want to look deep inside themselves, and then they come up to me and say something like, "It was all because of that book you wrote! It changed my life!" And I would say, no, no, really, you did all that, you and God/the gods --I'm a little fuzzy on whether the life-changing book is for Pagans or for Quake...
We have a guest post running today, over at Sermons from the Mound, part of the ongoing March series on the future of Paganism. If you'd like to read Sacred Fire, head on over and take a look.
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Yesterday I was taking out the trash, and I had had a particularly difficult discussion with my mom. She had been very abusive to me as a child, and has been a source of a lot of heartache. This conversation was no different.
I went to take the trash out, and I had one of those moments of clarity. It's hard to describe, and may sound completely stupid, but it just felt true, so I'll do my best to describe it and do it justice.
I was taking the trash out, and it was heavy, so I could feel my muscles straining. The wind was whipping around me, the clouds were dark and ominous, and halfway down to the apartment's dumpster, it started to rain.
You see, I've always loved rainstorms. I used to sit out in rainstorms and get soaking wet, but it was something that gave me joy. The power! The strength! It made me feel connected to myself in a way I still don't understand. And I glimpsed for a moment that fire of the Spirit you talked about in your post.
I also felt touched by a spirit mother of some kind. I've felt connected to her in the wind, in the earth, and especially in the moon, and I got the sense that she was telling me that SHE was where I had gotten my strength from for all these years. The wind was whipping around me, and the rain was coming down, and I felt it, the earth/spirit mother/fire of Spirit saying to me "you belong here, you are one of us, you have always been one of us".
It's difficult to describe and maybe that is okay. But thank you for sharing your spiritual journey in this blog. It helps me find meaning and language for my own.
Now your moment in the storm is going to stay with me, holding at least an echo of what that moment had for you. Thank you so much for sharing it here.